Are Lawn Gnomes Attacking Your Apartments In Rio De Janeiro?
As you've long suspected, the threat of lawn gnomes has been spreading. What was only a problem for north American suburbia has now spread to the shores of Rio de Janeiro. Copacabana and Ipanema shall no longer be safe. Probably, your flats, apartments and hotels are about to be flooded, if they haven't already. The garden gnomes are here on holiday with a few days to kill, literally. Here are a handful of tips on living through the onslaught before they are creeping all over the real estate that you just happen to be occupying.
At first, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying in. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to remember the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle hidden. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their infiltration. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good if you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you will be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you will have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some safeguard.
Also, you can't forget to train for the imminent doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to reaches for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also look at rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever expected for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one envisioned that the garden gnomes would be going south. So it looks like you must cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be crawling with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
At first, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying in. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to remember the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle hidden. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their infiltration. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good if you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you will be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you will have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some safeguard.
Also, you can't forget to train for the imminent doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to reaches for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also look at rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever expected for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one envisioned that the garden gnomes would be going south. So it looks like you must cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be crawling with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
About the Author:
Rio de Janeiro Properties is a real estate firm in Brazil providing luxury apartments for rent in rio de janeiro. Go to the website today and view a list of top quality flats Rio de Janeiro including beachfront penthouse apartments.
Are Lawn Gnomes Attacking Your Apartments In Rio De Janeiro?
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